همسة وفى
01-09-2010, 10:41 PM
School :
A place where Papa pays and Son plays .
Life Insurance :
A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that
you can die Rich .
Nurse :
A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.
Marriage :
It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree
and a woman gains her masters .
Divorce :
Future tense of Marriage .
Tears :
The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by
feminine waterpower .
Lecture :
An art of transferring information from the notes of the
Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through 'the minds of either '
Conference :
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present .
Compromise :
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that every****
believes he got the biggest piece .
Dictionary :
A place where success comes before work .
Conference Room :
A place where every**** talks, no**** listens and
every**** disagrees later on.
Father :
A banker provided by nature .
Criminal :
A guy no different from the rest....except that he got
caught.
Boss :
Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are
early .
Politician :
One who shakes your hand before elections and your
Confidence after .
Doctor :
A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills .
Classic :
Books, which people praise, but do not read .
Smile :
A curve that can set a lot of things straight .
Office :
A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life .
Yawn :
The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth .
Etc. :
A sign to make others believe that you know more than you
actually do .
Committee :
Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to
decide that nothing can be done together .
Experience :
The **** men give to their mistakes .
Atom Bomb :
An invention to end all inventions.
Philosopher :
A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when
dead
A place where Papa pays and Son plays .
Life Insurance :
A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that
you can die Rich .
Nurse :
A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.
Marriage :
It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree
and a woman gains her masters .
Divorce :
Future tense of Marriage .
Tears :
The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by
feminine waterpower .
Lecture :
An art of transferring information from the notes of the
Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through 'the minds of either '
Conference :
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present .
Compromise :
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that every****
believes he got the biggest piece .
Dictionary :
A place where success comes before work .
Conference Room :
A place where every**** talks, no**** listens and
every**** disagrees later on.
Father :
A banker provided by nature .
Criminal :
A guy no different from the rest....except that he got
caught.
Boss :
Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are
early .
Politician :
One who shakes your hand before elections and your
Confidence after .
Doctor :
A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills .
Classic :
Books, which people praise, but do not read .
Smile :
A curve that can set a lot of things straight .
Office :
A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life .
Yawn :
The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth .
Etc. :
A sign to make others believe that you know more than you
actually do .
Committee :
Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to
decide that nothing can be done together .
Experience :
The **** men give to their mistakes .
Atom Bomb :
An invention to end all inventions.
Philosopher :
A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when
dead
